This is going to be a hard post for me to write, and for everyone to read. It will not discuss science, because today I want to talk about something that I think is far more important.
TW: sexual assault discussion below.
My main hobby is PC gaming, and many of my favorite games (Starcraft 1 and 2, Dota 2, World of Warcraft) in the past few years have turned into full blown electronic sports (or e-sports) – they are now played competitively by full time e-athletes, and the competition is as fierce, enthralling and exciting as any sport. In the past week or so, more and more people (mostly involving women, but also men) have been speaking out against sexual harassment and assault episodes, which appear to be very widespread in the community. Some of these accusations have spilled out to other parts of geek/nerd culture, and I decided to reach out to Sera to hear her opinion.
Her reply was the reason I decided to write this post (with her permission). Today I learnt, to my great shock, that women at astrophysics conferences have had to maintain lists of people to actively avoid. I then thought back to when I first started my PhD, about a month after moving to Amsterdam. We had a meeting of the PhD/Postdoc community here, and one of the topics discussed was harassment at conferences. Being my younger, naive self I couldn´t believe that what I was hearing was real – scientists are supposed to be rational and well-educated after all. And yet, many people present (whom I won´t name) seemed to speak from experience, so I chose to just listen, be informed, and learn something new. At the time, I did not fully realize how common abuse like this is. Instead, I simply came to the conclusion that there are people that will do wrong things, and it is important for -me- not to behave like that. At the time, that was it – I just went on with my life, with a general dislike of people whose behaviour I deemed inappropriate; I didn´t go further. I have been thinking and talking more about these issues lately, and I have come to the conclusion that this is not enough. I believe that anyone who opposes this kind of behaviour needs to actively, not passively, oppose it, hence this post.
The truth is, passive opposition is not enough. Two out of the three women I´ve been in relationships with have told me they were forced into having sex against their consent at some point. As small a sample size as that is, it´s appalling. This sort of behavior is everywhere, on every level, and it needs to end. The fundamental aspect of many of the countries we live in is that everyone should have equal rights, and for that to be true, we need to actively call out injustices and badly constructed arguments. ¨There needs to be more proof¨ is not an argument outside of a court of law – because by definition, sexual activity is private, hence highly unlikely to be documented. ¨You can always say no¨ is not a valid argument at all – the dynamics at play, both physical and mental, keep that from being true. ¨Why also speak out now¨ is not an argument – it takes a long time for a person to process trauma. All of this does not mean we should act instantly on any accusations, but we should always, always listen to people speaking out about these issues, and listen to their point of view rather than dismissing them outright.
I do not have a clear solution for this problem, because too many elements play a role in its existence. It´s a complex issue, so by definition it requires a complex solution. What I am sure of however is that I am sick and tired of a system that perpetrates misery, injustice and exploitation. As decent people, we need to actively do something. Speaking out is not enough. Most of us may be good deep down, but the few who are not need to be held accountable. We need to call people out on their behaviour when we see it. Not participating ourselves is not enough – we need to actively be engaged with people whose behavior appears immoral, BEFORE anything happens. Sitting back thinking ¨I´m not part of the problem, being like me is the solution and that´s all that is needed¨ is not enough. We need to actively be part of the solution.
